I don't know what I want...

just a little face

I feel like lately I've talked about goals of mine, or what I'm wanting to do, but the truth is I have no idea what I want. At all. I remember when I was little and I knew exactly what I wanted to be, what kind of house I wanted to live in, I even remember planning what kind of dog and cat I wanted so going from that to not even knowing what I want to do this weekend is a huge deal. I'd like to think its because I'm more laid back and easy going now that I'm older, but that isn't it. Really, I don't care that much about anything right now. I know that if I saw two years ago (or maybe even a year ago) where I am now in my relationships with other people, in school, here on my blog, I'd be ecstatic. I mean just yesterday I got an awesome package full of stuff thanks to this here site, and I was just kind of like "so here it is". I don't like shopping all that much right now, (I think the last time I went was to buy christmas presents) and as for self improvement things like going on a diet, or getting fit, its not worth the effort. Studying has been so hard lately, I just can't help but stare off into space when I'm supposed to be reading my textbook, and doing a simple problem takes me about three times as long as it should. When I was trying to go through and do my schedule for the summer I was so uninterested that I just filled it all with course requirements. As for those relationships I would have loved two years ago, right now I wouldn't mind if they all just kind of disappeared. I'm so easily annoyed, and they (especially a select few) do the stupidest things. Of course minus the relationship I have with my parents… They're the best!  

I'm not sure what I can do to get myself motivated. I could try setting goals but   without anything I want I don't think they'd go over all that well. Maybe if they're blog related though I'd try them since I have been sticking to posting almost daily for awhile now. I think though what I really need to do, is remove myself from the unpleasant things that I don't like and live a little more freely. Without structure or planning, and just kind of let things go. Maybe, and hopefully there really is no problem and I'm just a little over stressed by all of my finals next week. 

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