Its Growing Time I Think

pictures of Hanna Marie Lei
Just last year was my first semester of college. I graduated high school earlier, and never looked back. I haven't hung out with any of my high school friends (although I did make plans to yesterday) and have only even texted one of them. In that one year, I've changed so much, and all for the better I think. I'm actually willing to drive somewhere, if I absolutely have to, I'm not afraid of sitting alone or not having any friends with me in a class or during break time and most importantly I'm not so shy any more. In high school I remember being deathly afraid of asking a teacher for help, even if it was just a simple question after class, now that I think about it though I wouldn't even ask a friend for homework help. Now though, thanks to calculus last semester I have no problem going in to see a teacher during office hours or comparing my answers to someone in the class.  I've also found out that sitting alone isn't so bad. I mean I'm actually starting to think its fantastic, because it gives me plenty of time to study, something that as an engineering student I really need to do. These amy not seem like all that big of accomplishments to anyone else, but for me they're great steps in the right direction. Like my oil painting class

The reason I bring this up is because I think that its about time for some more personal growth. I have so much going on right now with school work and blogging that I can barely keep up, and these first three weeks of school have absolutely flown by. I'm constantly worried if I'm going to get this post up in time, or if I'm understanding that concept for school and its quite overwhelming which you would think would mean I need to focus just on that and not look ahead, however I think that now is the time I need to dream about the future to keep me motivated on what it is I want.

And there really is one thing that I want, actually two if you consider my degree into the equation. This goal is one big one with a lot of little things that can help in-between but, at least for the next while is completely out of my control. I honestly think it's at least a year goal and is way more likely to fail than to succeed but I hope all my wishing goes for something plus maybe it won't be so bad. I mean I made my last goal like this that I thought would take me years to get and it only ended up taking like ten months to achieve. 

To get this goal, one thing I do have to do is grow a lot. I can't be that silly little college freshman girl. Its too bad that I have so much academically on my plate, because there is no way I can put that stuff on hold. I kind of wish though I could do what I did before and just leave everyone I know to start fresh, but of course that's not an option this time around. 

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