December 8, 2013

What I want from my Boyfriend

blond with glasses
At this point I don't even know what to say. I've blogged about this before, and maybe you've been getting tired of hearing about it,  but its on my mind! Anyway I've been studying most of the day, and some of the day, yesterday as well as Friday, because you see, as I mentioned last week, finals are coming. So I have a lot to do, you know studying and all.  I wish I could be all upset some other time, or better yet just be happy with my relationship.

After he upset me a whole lot, he read what I wrote about it, and apologized. It wasn't in a person, or even a phone call, so I guess I can't really say if it was "genuine" but you could say the same of my blog post! Plus he was really sweet with what he said, and how can you not forgive this hot boy? As I was just getting over it, thinking it wasn't a big deal that he lied to me,of course it happened again. Just like the last time, it was so that he didn't have to spend time with me. 

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At this point I don't even know what to think, or to say. I mean what can I do, confront him about not wanting to spend time with me? Every girlfriend he's broken up with, is because he's bored of them, and I'm afraid that I'm going to be added to that list. I really feel like he doesn't care about me anymore. I feel like this isn't how a normal boyfriend should act to their girlfriend, and it hurts a little. 

I want a boyfriend who actually wants to be around me. Once who doesn't want to leave at the end of our date, instead of rushing out the door when I ask for five more minutes, one that hasn't been planning for an hour about what he's going to do when he leaves. 

I want a boyfriend who texts, or better yet calls me on his own. One who will send me a message wishing me luck on a big test I'm getting ready to take, one that I've talked about being worried about all week. I'd like him to call me on his own on our regular call day of the week, instead of me have to remind him, and then being disappointed when he already has plans, and forgot to tell me about it, or at least if he can't talk that day want to reschedule for later in the week.

I want a boyfriend who I feel like I can really talk to, not just hold a conversation, but someone who's open. A boy who will talk to me about how he feels, what he's thinking about, and his aspirations. Instead of kind of hitting a wall, when trying to talk about anything personal. The same one that's willing to show me everything about himself, from his phone to whatever project he's working on, because I want to be a part of his life.

The thing I want most from a boyfriend is for him to think of me. Of how I'll feel about something, if I'll get upset, or hurt, and tries to avoid those things. One that is right there trying to make me feel better, if I'm sad for any reason, not just if its something he did wrong.

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I'm sure a few of you are thinking these are quite high aspirations in terms of a boyfriend, but honestly they're all things that I do, without thinking about it really. And by no means am I the perfect girlfriend. Which brings me to the next thing that I'm sure you're wondering about is why am I dating Big Hair if he doesn't fit any of these qualifications? But he did fit these awhile ago, and sometimes we all go through phases, and maybe this is just one of his. Plus there are a lot of other things still to like about him.
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