Lately, I've been wondering how many strikes, or mistakes, can you make in a relationship before its game over. How big of a mistake counts as a strike, and do all those little mistakes that I make add up to be a strike or are they just forgiven and forgotten. If you say sorry for all the little things, or really even the big things you do without being asked to do so are you making it better or worse with an apology.
I'll start though with why I've been thinking about this today. I went with my boyfriend at about 11:00 to help him move into his dorm room. It wasn't really a big deal going and really I didn't have to do much, because I'm a lady. That isn't sarcasm either. Big Hair, his father and his sister's boyfriend (poor guy) moved everything up to the room, climbing the stairs and all while I sat there and his mother and sister put away a few things. I was going to do a post about this move in of his but being me I forgot to take pictures. We then went out to eat and to target to get a few more things and then back to the room to hang up Christmas lights. Then to CVS to buy U by Kotex Click Tampons and to my boyfriend's house to swim in the pool and watch a movie. Afterwards I looked at peoples pictures on Instagram and judged them.
This seems like a pretty normal day/date thing for me and Big Hair, but I acted so terribly. I'm a little hyper and maybe annoying to begin with but today I just couldn't control myself. It seemed like as the day went on I got worse and worse. Then when I was looking at HIS phone every pretty girl I saw I accused him of cheating on me with. Literally every single one, which I'm sure got old. Especially since I was acting so serious about it, just more dumb and annoying Hanna behavior. Then when we were leaving a threw a "fit" about it and didn't want to let him leave.
I'm sure that I get little strikes all the time for this kind of behavior, but today I'm pretty sure that I earned myself a
big make that huge strike. So I'm wondering how many more strikes do I get before something happens. I don't think I'm close to a break up, but probably a sit down and talk about your behavior kind of thing.
I have no idea why I acted the way I did today, I mean sure I can blame it on a lot of things, like my never ending period, you can read my nexplanon review to find out more about that, or maybe that I'm stressed about school, but no excuse makes up for my behavior, behavior that isn't a new thing. The worst part is that he NEVER does anything even sort of wrong I mean, he made me a cake for my Birthday how much better can you get than that?
Honestly I'm really hoping that its just me that's seeing (or thinking) how bad I am. I'd like to think that I'm just worrying about something that really isn't anything. For the first time I'm with a boy that I really care about, someone who I think is perfect for me and I don't ever want to lose him, especially not because I'm just being immature. With him though its so hard to tell, he acts so laid back, and never really shares what he's thinking so sometimes I'm afraid he'll just call me one day and be like "Hey Hanna, I've been thinking, I'm kind of over you".
Oh how I love being a teenage girl.